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Star*Born: Page 4 by Fennevee Star*Born: Page 4 by Fennevee
Yes, I'm posting pages randomly XD

Blood warning

Page 1: fennevee.deviantart.com/art/St…

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Characters:

Silverwind: Silver tabby

Pinepaw: Brown tabby

Newttail: Pinkish gray cat

Raggedstorm: Dark brown cat


"SILVERWIND!!!" Pinepaw screamed, when Newttail came to his side. "Don't worry, Pinepaw," Newttail meowed, "I'll help her!"
"Newttail... Thank you..."
Newtail dashed through the battlefield to find the bleeding deputy. Newttail slid in front of Silverwind, "Newttail?" Silverwind meowed.
Newttail glared back at the deputy and said, "Goodbye, Silverwind..." as her throat was clawed open.

Poor Newttail, we barely got to know her >.<

Art by~Me

Characters by~Me

Warriors by~Erin Hunter
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:iconmysti-crow:
Mysti-crow Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, did you receive my critique?
Reply
:iconmysti-crow:
Mysti-crow Featured By Owner Edited Sep 10, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, i exist so i thought i might give a critique!
Im sorry if this sounds offensive or similar to what the person below me described!

1-  in the desc story(?) thing it says glared, i think thats a typo? So you might want to change it to something like "Newttail rushed into the battle just in time to sheild the bleeding deputy from a lethal clawstrike to the throat, staring softly into Silverwind's eyes with apology. "Goodbye, Silverwind.." she said, before she went limp."
(note: this is just my interpretation of the scene, and i might be very wrong)

2- i actually really like the way you drew silverwind in the second to last panel, but i dont like the way you drew newttail's tail (lol). It looks a bit skinny in certain parts and thicker near the end. Also in the same panel, newttail's butt looks weird (its always hard to draw animals from that perspective, so its not a big deal) if i wer you i would make it so that on both sides, the fur faces the same way.

3- With the shading (especially on newttail) it looks like the shading is a part of her markings. I would suggest using a softer shading, and changing the shading color.
i shade with a 35 brightness grey, with a 0 for hue and saturation, then. I use multiply or Linear burn.

4- the 4th and 5th panels look really similar. I would change the pose a bit next time, maybe make one face the other direction?

5- The panels themselves are wonky. Medibang paint has a manga layout that you can find, but otherwise, try using straight line tool to create the boxes!

6- try to make the blood more realistic by adding different hues and shades of red!

7- not really a critique, but you should put a mature content on this

8- in the fith panel, its kind of hard to read newttail's name (i thought it said new-tail)
i would suggest spacing your lines out!

9- the chest floof, while i love the floofynesz, looks a bit odd as it goes both down and out? I would make it look a bupit springie-er

10- background looks a bit flat, but hey trees a weird to draw. For the grass try taking a green and then use different shades to layer onto it (use alpha protect) then use the smudge tool and smude it uf to give it a grassy feel! For the trees, its best to keep trying different things and find what works! I would suggest making them have more leaves though
Reply
:iconwonderdacat:
WonderDaCat Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yo, just a few types for an artist in need. 
-Get a tablet. Getting a graphics tablet that you can hook into your PC allows you more control than a mouse and pen pressure, which is how thick a line is depending on how hard you press.

-Study anatomy. Studying this will give your pieces a more realistic look, as the eyes are too big and the bangs are way too big, they can't cover half of their faces. Not all cats have a fluffy crest on their chest either. In panel 4, the body is way too long and skinny as well.

-Work on your backgrounds. The trees look like erected dicks, and the background is a bit too bland. It should have more trees, leveled and hilly areas, etc etc.

-Genetics. Not and silver tabby she-cats have to have blue eyes! Blue eyes are a genetic mutation, unless siamese, other breeds, and white furred cats.

-Silverwind. This is such an overused name I might barf. 

Please don't take these in an offensive way, I get a bit irritated when I see this. Thanks! =]
Reply
:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Edited Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
I agree with Fennevee, she has her own UNIQUE style, and you shouldn't try taking what makes her SPECIAL, and corrupting it with that crap, let her be her, and let you be you, unless you have a problem, you take it to me, leave her, and her art style, alone, she is FINE the way she is.
Reply
:iconwonderdacat:
WonderDaCat Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh my.
What you're saying makes perfect sense, I shouldn't have done that, but I'm very irritated by the fact that you called half of my whole style crap.
Me and Fennevee came to a compromise, and I feel this argument is over.
Reply
:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
I honestly wasn't saying your style was crap, I was saying that you shouldn't try making them do something else, and let them develop on their own if they choose. 
Reply
:iconwonderdacat:
WonderDaCat Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You didn't deliberately say it, most likely on accident, because all those things contribute to half of my style.

Anyways, like I said, we came to a compromise, and I feel this argument is over.
Reply
:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Alright, thank you for backing off.
Reply
:iconwonderdacat:
WonderDaCat Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
And thank you for not feeding the fire that has broken many friendships. ^^
Reply
:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
I normally don't carry on arguments unless the other doesn't back down, ehehe
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconfennevee:
Fennevee Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Hello,

-I do have a tablet and I always draw on it, it just don't have a pen.

-I have been trying to study anatomy, currently in the works. I like the bigger eyes, I don't want to have a realistic style.

-Still working on how to do backgrounds, anyway they don't really look like dicks.

-I have only had two she-cats with blue eyes.

- I didn't know Silverwind was overused name, I made her when I had not access to the internet.

I am sort of offended honestly. It seems like your telling me to throw everything thing I know out the window.
Reply
:iconwonderdacat:
WonderDaCat Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
-What type of tablet is it? If it's from some brands, you could get a replacement stylus for free or around $20-$30.

-Alright! I remember making huge heads and bangs too, XD

-I'd suggest using a watercolor tool for them, and drawing lines for grass. It's time consuming, but worth it!

-I'm sorry. I didn't look at the other pages. Just keep that in mind! ^^"

-It's specifically the prefix silver- because it's used 3/4 for silver tabby she-cats.

Jeesh, they were just suggestions! You didn't have to pay them any mind, but I'm sorry.

Also, what program do you use? It might make it easier to get Medibang or FireAlpaca, if you haven't already. Using the fade in/out tool on the line art mimics pen pressure until you get a stylus, as well.
Reply
:iconfennevee:
Fennevee Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Student Digital Artist
-It's IPad mini.

-Yeah, I just like the fluffiness.

-My art program doesn't really like that kind of things... but I'll try!

-it's okay, I commented before understanding.

-I use ArtRage, one of the worst art programs.
Reply
:iconmysti-crow:
Mysti-crow Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Try using ibis paint! Its really good and free
Reply
:iconwonderdacat:
WonderDaCat Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Try Sketchbook or Medibang. I think Medibang's on mobile. ^^"
Reply
:iconfennevee:
Fennevee Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Got medibang, BTW can you put references on?
Reply
:iconwonderdacat:
WonderDaCat Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yea, click Window, then check reference. You can then upload a picture onto there.

Pressing File, and Open, can also let you open files that you've made, and it'll show up as another canvas in also let different project.
Reply
:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
When you are drawing Newttails death on paper, and its going so fast you don't know what to do.
Reply
:iconfennevee:
Fennevee Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Yeah, I was crying
Reply
:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Awww, don cry pie
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:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
you said Silverwind glared at the deputy, I didn't know she had split personallites, XD 
Reply
:iconfennevee:
Fennevee Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Oops, that was a mistake, just fixed it.
Reply
:iconfemale-clearsky-ask:
Female-Clearsky-Ask Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Alright! <3! ehehehehehehe
Reply
:iconcakeycat7:
Cakeycat7 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is really good :3
Reply
:iconfennevee:
Fennevee Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Thank you!!!
Reply
:iconcakeycat7:
Cakeycat7 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Your Welcome :3
Reply
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